What happened to good sportsmanship? What happened to helping others? What happened to congratulating other riders if they placed higher than you andencouraging those that placed lower? When did winning at all costs become more important than building up those younger or more inexperienced?

It seems that riders lose sight of good sportsmanship when it comes to winning. If they have a bigger, better, fancier, more expensive horse and equipment, suddenly, that puts them a mark above the rest. Even if it doesn't, people like to feel set apart - special, newer, better. It's part of competition and what creates a winning team - always feeling the need to become more than what you have already become. Unfortunately, more often than not, this creates discord and competitors lose compassion for other riders and even their horses in the process.

Having spent many years in the industry, I've spent time at big shows and small, local shows in numerous states and disciplines. What I've found, especially at a local level close to home, is nothing less than dissapointing. My generation was raised to compete with a smile, do good to all, and apologize if you cut someone off. After ribbons were handed out, we were expected to be kind. No matter what. Even if you didn't place, you went and congratulated the riders that did place, and found something nice to say, as long as it was relevant. If you placed high and someone else didn't, it was expected that you go to them and encourage them, and compliment them in some way - tell them how beautifully their horse was moving, how solid their lower leg was, or something of the sort. Don't lie, but find something nice to say - it goes a long way in building others up, and can make the difference in a terrible day and a pretty good one. 

If someone had a question or wasn't well-versed in showing, it was never a problem for them to ask someone else and get a good answer. Everyone knew everyone else, and everyone looked out for each other. A horse show was an event to look forward to, because you knew you'd be spending the entire day in the company of not only your barn family, but your off-site barn family as well - the ones that you got to know from going to show with their barns. 

What has happened to that sportsmanship? When did riders step away from realizing that horse shows are for fun? Their purpose is to get to know others and further the horse community, perhaps win some ribbons, and maybe even win back some entry money. At a state and national level is one thing - of course you're going to have high-dollar horses and expensive outfits, and as a general rule, riders that can afford a lot more - but it's entirely another thing at the local level. When there is a show right down the road from you that's advertised as a fun show or a schooling show, you'd expect to be able to take your green horse over there to school them and gain some experience. You'd expect to be able to take some of your old school horses and let your beginner students learn how to show.

Unfortunately, this is rarely the case anymore. In my experience, there does tend to be some companionship involved with several barns, but not right away - it tends to have to build up over many years of building those relationships before people will reach out and welcome you, or help you out when you need it.

At these shows, you can hear other trainers, parents, the kids themselves around the arena hanging out at the fence, talking about the horses and riders they don't like, or have problems with their performance. Sadly, rarely do they have anything good to say - it's usually more along the lines of gossip, unkind statements, and judgemental proclamations. Sometimes, you won't hear anything at all, as they're saying everything behind your back and don't want you to hear. You won't hear the mean things they're saying, but you won't hear anything kind or encouraging, either. 

It's sad, really, how far we as a community have stepped away from kindness, compassion, and collaboration. We don't work together anymore. We only work to tear each other down. We don't build up our competition anymore, we only work harder on ourselves and our horses and single ourselves out, we must be better, do better, win better than everyone else. Again, we lose sight of sportsmanship and compassion when we feel lofty about being better than everyone else. Bigger, better, more expensive...these all contribute to the downfall of sportsmanship. Why? To What end? If it's a national competition, a state competition, a big show, by all means, please, do your best. But don't tear down others in your path. You never know when it'll come back to haunt you. Even if you are the best, and you have the best horse, that is no reason whatsoever to treat others around you like dirt. Spend the time to build others up around you. Teach your children to make friends, congratulate others, to find the best in every situation. Shows are so much more fun when you're there to have fun and do your best.  I always tell my students that it's okay if they don't win, as long as they do their absolute best, get the best performance they can out of their horses, and enjoy the ride. I encourage them to find something good about every class - they should come out of every class with a positive note on something that went well, whether they won or not. If they didn't win, I try to help them analyze and understand why they didn't place, and what they can do next time to perform even better. But they are never to come out of a class or a show with a rotten attitude, any sort of entitlement ideas, or treating other riders disrespectfully. Can we get back to sportsmanship? Can we try to move back towards a world where more than just your barn mates care about you? Can we care more about our horses and those around us than just ourselves and winning a $2 ribbon? Can we teach our children, our students, about good character, learning to have a positive attitude, no matter the outcome or our expectations? This isn't to say that there aren't good people out there, becuase there definitely are. This isn't a universal truth, but unforutnately it's become far more common than it should.  Please, become a part of this movement, and we can change the horse industry, the future of our kids, and the world.  For Example: Perhaps you are attending a show at a new farm for the first time, and you're hauling 4 of your own school horses, all a little older and not quite as fancy as could be expected. These horses are your treasures, and they will pack your set of 7 year olds around all day long without putting a foot wrong. None of these kids can afford their own horses, so they ride yours once a week in lessons. They have second hand show clothes, or simple polo shirt tucked into breeches, with paddock boots and half chaps, and hair done up in pretty little braids. Your girls happily tack up their horses and take them into the warmup ring. They've been well coached ahead of time, reminded once more of ring etiquette, passing properly, excusing themselves if they goof up, and calling their jumps. Their classes begin.....and riders cut these girls off intentionally to try to make their horses break gait or otherwise act out in front of the judge, they are squeezed into the corners and crowded so that they judge can't get a good eye on them. They do their best, check their diagonals and leads, keep their horses as consistant as possible. The other riders are checking their horses HARD when the judge isn't watching, and heavy-handed in their horse's mouths trying to frame up perfectly and force their horses to go as they are asked. There is little to no consideration for the horses themselves, or for any other riders in the arena - as long as they win, that's all that matters. The children do their best, they line up, they give their horses a pat on the neck and tell their horses thank you for doing their best. They are exercising compassion. The other children in the class look at them sideways, wondering why they are talking....goodness, that can't be okay. Your girls look over and smile, and tell them that they did well, that their horse is very pretty, what's it's name? The judge is finished pinning the class at this point, and they are only waiting on the announcer. Once the places are called, it turns out that several of your girls placed low, and the other kids with better, bigger, fancier horses and clothes placed in the high ribbons. Your girls happily trot to pick up their ribbons, go get their picture taken, and congratulate the girls with their horses that placed high. It's a small show, so they are here to make friends, see the pretty horses, win some ribbons, do their best, and go home having had a day full of fun. This continues the remainder of the day. Your kids get a few things wrong....miss a diagonal here, a lead there, and it's reflected in their ribbons. It's a learning experience, and they walk away from each class knowing what they could do better, and you give them coaching on what they did correctly. At the end of the day, they've done fairly well, and you're happy with their progress. They showed well, they kept a good attitude, watched a lot, and learned a lot.  How do you explain how it's fair that the riders with more expensive, bigger, fancier horses placed better just because of how they look? It's an unfortunate truth, and that's okay. It's okay that some horses just look and move better than others. Your kids have learned that they can do things to make their horses look and move better, but sometimes it's just not good enough. They've learned that it's okay to not be first all the time. They've learned that it's important to be a good sport, even if you're not number one. It's important to support your teammates, and to congratulate your competition. There were several classes where your kids placed higher than the ones that typically won the classes, due to a bobble in their horses, a missed lead, or one child nearly running the judge over cutting across the arena. In those instances, your girls were over the moon that they had placed so high. Unforutnately, the riders that they beat did not consider it alright - they complained loudly to their parents, trainers, and anyone else that would listen how unfair it was.  Encourage your riders, and yourself, to do your best, to congratulate others, to have compassion and caring above all else. You'd be amazed at the difference it'll make.